It’s crazy to think that I’m now the very proud mama of a one-year-old baby. On October 3rd, my little man made that massive milestone and Alfie and I celebrated the fact that we had made it through the first year marginally unscathed. There have been some lows, but mainly highs over the past year as new parents and some of the challenges have been unreal, but somehow we managed to pull through the magnificent task of raising a little human for one whole year.
When we brought Aiden home from the hospital when he was just over 24 hours old, the journey that we were about to embark on was a daunting prospect. We had so much love for this tiny baby that we had been blessed with, but the reality was neither of us knew what the hell we were going to do with him. I hadn’t really been around babies not alone look after one before AJ arrived so the thought of changing a nappy for the very first time seemed scary.
Let’s just say we both as individuals have come a long way and learnt a great deal in 12 months. Our little man is the happiest baby and through him my eyes have been opened to so much and he has taught me a lot about myself and the world in his short time on this earth.
Time Is Precious
Seriously, this has to be the quickest year of my life! It’s incredible to think that Aiden once was a tiny baby and now he’s charging around the room with his walker and getting himself into all kinds of mischief. Realising how fast this year has gone has made me appreciate the time that we have and what is really important in life. Abandoning the housework used to drive me crazy in the early days of mamahood, but now I’m so glad that I did because I will never get that time back.
Accepting Help Doesn’t Mean You’re A Failure
You are literally thrown in the deep end when you have a baby and it’s such an overwhelming feeling even if you have one of the easiest and happiest baby’s to bless this earth. I’m quite stubborn by nature and like to make sure it looks like I have everything under control even when it’s not (an area that I’m working on as part of my personal development project). At first I turned down everyone’s kind offers of help but quickly realised without wanting to be a martyr that accepting help doesn’t make me a failure. In fact, I think it’s a brave step and has definitely helped me and my little family thrive.
It’s OK IF You Can’t Do It All
I’m a list maker, I like to write everything down and I like to think of myself as a super organised human being. Baby brain isn’t a myth it’s a fact of life the same way that having a baby completely shakes up your norm. How such a tiny human being takes over your world still amazes me a year later. I struggled to come to terms that I couldn’t be as productive as I was before having Aiden, actually I found it really tough almost like it was showing a sign of weakness. Slowly, I began to accept that I cannot do it all and that’s OK because I’m doing the best I can and that’s enough.
Putting Yourself First Is A Necessity Not A Luxury
Looking after yourself has never been so important to be since becoming a mama. Of course, I’ve been focused on looking after my health for a few years now, but practicing actions of kindness and taking some time out for myself has never felt more a necessity. It’s so very easy to lose yourself in baby mayhem and to recapture a piece of you or reconnect yourself is essential for your sanity and well-being. Whether it’s 2-minutes or 60-minutes I always try to make sure that I find some time to practice kindness towards myself. I previously blogged about some simple ideas on how to practice self-love here, but this can also extend to actions like wearing your favourite lipstick, going for a walk or eating your favourite foods. Things can come up that mean that my self-care practices slide, but I know that when I return to them I feel better for it.
I Can’t Be A Typical Stay At Home Mum
I’m one of those annoying people who always has to be doing something and I know it may sound silly because you are always busy with a baby, but I think there is that need for me to have my own world that is just for me. The past year has taught me that I can’t be a regular stay at home mum, which sounds like a selfish thing to say, however, I will never feel guilty for saying it. I give credit and praise to any mother who dedicates their entire life to their children - it’s just not me. I need to have something that is mine and totally unrelated to mamahood to feel and function like myself, so I’m forever grateful for blogging and freelancing as it gives me that creative space that I need.
We are not Rivals
Who cares if your baby is breast or formula fed, traditionally weaned or baby-led weaned, wears organic cotton, was born naturally or by c-section? Not me. Motherhood can be competitive and downright bitchy, some of the parenting Facebook groups that I’ve joined that are supposed to be supportive are shocking! People a can be quick to criticise if you are doing something that they think is the wrong way to raise a child. I totally appreciate that parenting is a highly sensitive topic, but seriously as long as the baby is healthy, happy and loved none of the rest matters.
Life happens…get over it!
This all comes back to my OCD over-organised self and feeling totally screwed over when I can’t get things done, we don’t leave on time or my plans completely unravel. Yep, biggest wake-up call for me since having a beautiful little person to look after is that the simplest tasks can become difficult, not all the time I may add! I’ve finally surrendered and accepted that life happens and stopped becoming such a stress head when things seem like they’re not going to plan. Who care’s if we don’t get out the door in time, I haven’t managed to do the laundry or miss an appointment a slap round the face with some perspective has helped in this department!
Aiden is doing so well at the moment. He’s an absolute star and I couldn’t ask for a happier and loving little boy! He’s not quite walking yet, but he’s confidently cruising around the furniture and he did take a couple of nervous steps towards me the other day. We got his feet measured the other week and my baby has massive feet. Buying his first set of proper shoes is going to be so exciting, but we haven’t invested in any yet as he’s not quite walking.
Night time can still be challenging and on some nights he’s been having extra feeds, meaning I feel drained the next day. Having said that he is taking longer naps in the day, which means that I’m able to get more done while he’s sleeping because I hate working when he’s awake.
Sleepless nights aside I couldn’t be happier, Aiden has enriched our lives beyond what we ever thought was possible and I know it sounds like a cliché, but imagining life without him now feels impossible.
He is such a cutie!
Thanks Laureen, we think he’s rather cute too. 🙂
These are some amazing points you made there. I’m not a mum but it was almost easy to imagine that I was and how I’d feel 🙂
Your baby is gorgeous, you’re doing an amazing job x
Thanks Kristina, it’s hard work but we made it through the first year.
Your blog is so beautiful and your bubba Aiden is just so sweet! I’m 5 months into this motherhood thing and agree with lots of your points above. I definitely need to have something for me as well - it’s not a luxury - it’s essential! I’ve got twins but HAVE to find the time to blog and freelance where I can otherwise I feel like I’m not being true to myself. Are you going back to work or you a freelancing?xxxx
Thank you, Ursula!!! I think twins are so cute and I bet they keep you busy! I think so many of us feel so guilty about taking time out for ourselves, but we need some ‘me’ time for out sanity if nothing else. At the moment, I’m enjoying freelancing. It fits in nicely with our lifestyle and it means I can spend lots of time with my baby. Of course, there is no denying that it’s hard trying to fit work in, but the difficult days are definitely worth it.
I so remember your posts from his first few months. I cant believe time has flown so quickly.
I know the time has just flown. He’s walking now!!!
I’m a stay at home dad and you might be surprised how much of what you say I relate to! Time does indeed fly very quickly. Wait until Alfie starts school though. At that point things pick up speed at afrightening rate.
I bet you can relate to so much John. I’m not ready for school days just yet.
I think you’re doing an awesome job as a mum. You have such a great outlook as well. I can’t even imagine how stressful it can be…but you’ve rocked it!
My mum was the same when it came to looking after my sister and me. She didn’t want her identity to be defined by her children, so she went back to being a nurse. It only instilled in me how strong my mum is (not that full-time mum’s aren’t strong of course) and how much she had to juggle to look after us and excel at her job.
So lovely for you to say that Anna, thank you! It really is the hardest thing, but you just get on with it because you have to and muddle through. It all comes together in the end!
Well done for your mum for making that big leap because it’s not an easy decision to make. You have to put yourself first sometimes and I bet it made her an even better mum to you and your sister.
You made some excellent points, especially about not being in competition with anyone. I hear so many people making judgement about other people’s choices and it always makes me sad, especially as they never know the full story,
It’s crazy isn’t, parent, new ones in particular need support not sniggering comments and criticism.
He’s the cuttessttt…I don’t have any kids so I can’t share my joy with you. But I can share the joy of my other mommy friends and they just go crazy fun for everything their baby has done for the first year. enjoy these moments because before you know it, he’s married with his own kids 🙂
I can’t believe that he’s one already and to think this time last year he was 5 weeks old. It’s lovely that you can share the joy of your mummy friends and their kids.
What a lovely post. Aiden is so cute. All the best to you all.
Thanks so much!
Great poitns - I loved my first year oas a mama. It goes way to fast though - my eldest is 12 now!! It taught me to enjoy every second as they don’t last forever.
Oh, you really have to because it goes far too quickly. This has been the quickest year of my life!
Happy birthday Aiden - he is so cute! You make some wonderful points here. Accepting help and learning to put yourself first too are both so important for a happy mum and baby. Great post x
Oh he is adorable! Crazy how much changes in a year x
Thank you! The progress that they make in a year is incredible.
I can totally relate to this post. My daughter will be 4 in March (I still can’t believe it) and I was terrified when we first brought her home. I can still vividly remember her 1st year, that weird mixture of pride and terror! xx
I’ve only just come to terms with the fact that he’s turned one, so four is just crazy for me to think about. The time just goes really fast! It has been a scary rollercoaster but also full of so much love and happiness.
Ahh one year is so lovely - and what a year! Firsts of everything and so exciting/tiring 😉 Lovely post and it does go so fast that you’ll be wondering where time went!! Jess xx
It’s amazing how quickly the first year seems to pass 🙁
Sadly I still need lists as baby brain hasn’t disappeared and my youngest is 3