Before I begin this post, I just want to say that I’m literally brain dumping everything that’s been in my head the past few weeks, it’s been a pretty stressful time of events that have left me feeling zapped of energy and in a funk. Although I don’t want my blog to be a negative place, this post does err on the moaning side of the spectrum, but it’s honestly how I felt at the time of writing it.
Do you sometimes like the universe really doesn’t have your back? This is how I felt over the past few weeks and only just coming out the other side. A series of events, 3 to be in fact, they do say bad luck comes in threes all happened in the space of 2 weeks, which actually made me wonder if someone had been ….. revenge. You know, that “why me?” scenario.
Firstly, someone reversed into Alfie’s car leaving a massive dent on the rear door on the passenger side and bumper. The other car was left without a scratch on it. Now because this happened while both cars were reversing, and the driver of the other car failed to do the honest thing and own up to it, we’ve had to pay out a hefty excess charge to our insurance company for something that wasn’t our fault, which is more than crap.
The car is now fixed and as good as new, but I was so annoyed at the other driver for not admitting his mistake and had me really questioning my faith in mankind – a bit dramatic I know, but honestly I have no idea why anyone would do this! At the time it felt like we were being punished at someone else’s expense, plus this now means a higher premium when we renew our insurance.
Next up, in the summer we started some renovation work in our living room to build a feature wall to house the TV and a fireplace. We ordered a new TV in August and because the building work was unfinished and we had some delays we left the TV in the box unopened until the wall was finished. The work was finished a few Sunday’s ago, we were super excited to put our new TV up to finish it off. After opening the box for the first time, mounting the TV and turning it on, there was a massive crack in the LED panel under the screen. Disappointment doesn’t even cover how I felt, I actually got really emotional about it. We’d waited so long for this moment and it was ruined.
To cut a long story short, lots of back and forth emails, not acknowledging the blame from the retailers, reading the Consumer Act 2015 in-depth and lengthy phone calls was getting us nowhere. Until last week, when the retailers offered to replace the TV. I’m so grateful that they have seen sense as this whole process has been so draining for me. I felt like after all money we had worked hard to save and then spent, we were still at square one and was about ready to give up. Thank goodness for my husband who is so much better at handling things like this.
On top of this, Alfie thought he had kidney stones, but thankfully he doesn’t, but it was another why us moment.
These events then had knock-on on effect on my wellbeing. When I’m low on energy, physically and emotionally, my inner critic turns up its volume and I feel vulnerable. Ultimately, I end up questioning my self-worth and I get stuck in a major comparison trap, especially about my blog. I wonder what’s the point of it all, especially when people with bigger followings than me are having a bigger impact. How can little old me make any difference when there are others who are passionate about the same topics do it so well? When I have my perspective in check, I know that my social media following is no correlation to my worth. Nevertheless, when I’m in a funk it always comes back and lingers like a bad smell. This is something that has always plagued me and perhaps I need to do some mindset work around this to help me snap out of it quicker.
I know in the grand scheme of things these things aren’t that major and probably indulgent to write an entire post on it, but in that short space of time, it felt like everything was against us. What helped me in a big way is cherishing the little things like having my health and knowing my family are well, which matters more to me than anything. It was just a small period of time where everything seemed to be against us, but these things happen and although it seemed impossible at the time we did see positive outcomes in the end.
I’m not even sure what the point of this post is to be honest, it’s just one big moan but needed on my part. Apologies for the pity-party type post but writing this and getting things out into the open has been rather cathartic. I’m not one for dwelling on negativity as it can perpetuate an ongoing cycle, however, sometimes I think you need to feel the way you need to feel and it’s acceptable not to be OK.
If you made it to the end thank you. If you didn’t then my next post will be less miserable I promise, but I like to keep things real around here.